12 Mile Boost

It's no secret that I am battling a lack of running mojo lately.  I smile, I show up, I do the run, I do the strength training, but I'm just not feeling confident.

Neither one of these seems to work lately.

It's also no secret that some of this lack of confidence probably stems from dealing with my father's death in June, something with which I really haven't come to terms.  (Read my post about it here.)

I suspect that I went through a slump like this at the same time last year, but I haven't read those posts yet because I choose to wallow for a bit.

This is EXACTLY how I look when I choose to wallow for a bit.

Now, there are some very positive things that have happened to me just recently.  First, I came up with a plan for my dreaded tempo run.  I have decided that I am going to run Sand Run Parkway the difficult way (downhill first half, uphill on the way home), and I'm going to better my time each time I run it.  Also, I'm going to focus on an even pace rather than racing the downhill part and suffering the uphill part.  I did this on Thursday, and while my overall time may have been slower, my splits were even, and I felt great.

The second positive thing that happened is that I won't have to deal with two very toxic people who really took up too much of my psychic energy for the past few years.  Those people are gone, and I wish them well.  I will be going back to work this year with a sense of hope that I had been lacking for quite a while.

Yet I am still anxious and worried about the Akron Half Marathon.

Last Wednesday at the track, Mandy invited me to do the long run on Sunday with her--twelve miles--with the condition that we keep it around 10:30 a mile.  Normally this would be no problem for me, but the heat and humidity have really messed with my runs (and my head) lately, and I immediately starting doubting I could keep up for twelve miles.  See, it's this kind of mental crap that I'm talking about; self-doubt sucks.  Anyway, I said I would go with her, and today I did.

What a boost!  Our overall pace was faster than 10:30, with one mile at 9:45, and NEGATIVE SPLITS!!!  I am normally not a negative split runner, but I am really happy with this run.  Not gonna lie, Peeps, I suffered in the last two miles, but who doesn't suffer in the last two miles?  Mandy, that's who, but she's just a damned kid.  This old lady finished a minute behind her, and I'm just happy that my time was so good, especially since we ran in the same heat and humidity that has been bothering me all along.

This is EXACTLY how I look when I run negative splits in a 12-miler.  This is also my first experience with a selfie-stick, which Mandy says is the best 8-buck investment she ever made.

I can do this.  I just need to shut down the stupid head games.

Coming up: the Burn Rubber 10k in Akron.  Until then, run happy, Peeps!

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