|Neither one of these seems to work lately.|
It's also no secret that some of this lack of confidence probably stems from dealing with my father's death in June, something with which I really haven't come to terms. (Read my post about it here.)
I suspect that I went through a slump like this at the same time last year, but I haven't read those posts yet because I choose to wallow for a bit.
|This is EXACTLY how I look when I choose to wallow for a bit.|
The second positive thing that happened is that I won't have to deal with two very toxic people who really took up too much of my psychic energy for the past few years. Those people are gone, and I wish them well. I will be going back to work this year with a sense of hope that I had been lacking for quite a while.
Yet I am still anxious and worried about the Akron Half Marathon.
Last Wednesday at the track, Mandy invited me to do the long run on Sunday with her--twelve miles--with the condition that we keep it around 10:30 a mile. Normally this would be no problem for me, but the heat and humidity have really messed with my runs (and my head) lately, and I immediately starting doubting I could keep up for twelve miles. See, it's this kind of mental crap that I'm talking about; self-doubt sucks. Anyway, I said I would go with her, and today I did.
What a boost! Our overall pace was faster than 10:30, with one mile at 9:45, and NEGATIVE SPLITS!!! I am normally not a negative split runner, but I am really happy with this run. Not gonna lie, Peeps, I suffered in the last two miles, but who doesn't suffer in the last two miles? Mandy, that's who, but she's just a damned kid. This old lady finished a minute behind her, and I'm just happy that my time was so good, especially since we ran in the same heat and humidity that has been bothering me all along.
|This is EXACTLY how I look when I run negative splits in a 12-miler. This is also my first experience with a selfie-stick, which Mandy says is the best 8-buck investment she ever made.|
I can do this. I just need to shut down the stupid head games.
Coming up: the Burn Rubber 10k in Akron. Until then, run happy, Peeps!
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