Race Recap: Run with Scissors

Highlights of last year's Run with Scissors:

1. Rain

2. Crying

3. Getting lost 1/2 mile from the finish

4. Running 3-4 extra miles

Because I've got some extra rage going on (How about you? Are you angry? No? Just me? Ok.), I signed up to take the whammy off the race.

Because I like to share my pain, I bullied persuaded the Trail Sisters to run it with me.

Of course the weather was the same: 43 degrees and rainy. Yuck. Luckily, we run in the woods, so we wouldn't get that wet from above. Running through the mud, however, was quite a different story. If mud baths are supposed to be good for the skin, I guarantee you that my feet and legs are glorious.

I found Mandy and Pam, my long-lost friends.

Early Trail Sisters selfie: Wendy, Nancy, Marta

Official Trail Sisters Selfie: Marta, Nicole, Laura, Me, Nancy, Wendy

We gathered at Pine Hollow at 9 AM to hear the Grim Reaper, Roy Heger, give us explanations of the course markings. Not wanting to get lost yet again, I listened very closely. The signs were very complicated:

What does he actually mean by that????

And then we took off. The first two miles are always difficult for me. I remember calling out, "Why are we even doing this???"

The response was a chorus of "Because you made us, you jerk!"

Oh yeah.

We hit the aid station at Pine Hollow, where Sydney and Sarah had some awesome food for us, including donuts! Then we quickly took off again.

We are already disregarding the trail markings. We are supposed to be running in the grass.

I started to feel really good, so I ran ahead a bit with Nicole, Dave, and Katrina (who ran dressed as Notorious RBG).  I decided to run by feel, meaning that if I felt angry/energized/angsty/good I would run faster, and if I felt tired/sluggish/sad I would run slower. We reached the halfway point, where we pulled out our scissors and cut a page from the book to prove that we were there.

Nicole 

Dammit, my eyes are closed.

Wendy and Marta demonstrate the proper way to run with scissors.

And now they cut their pages.

After that, Nicole and I decided that we wanted to be done with this race. I was getting cold and tired and hangry. We ran back to Pine Hollow for some bacon and love. Or bacony love. Then we took off up and down the Sound of Music Hills and back towards the Ledges. 

Oh, Ledges. You are so difficult with your sharp rocks and hidden roots. This is always where I get super-paranoid because I am afraid I'll break a foot or fall and hurt myself. I slowed down considerably, but Nicole was consumed by the desire to finish, so she pulled ahead. She was worried that I'd take a wrong turn (because this is where I went wrong last year), so I kept hearing her yell back, "Turn left!!! Turn here!" I told her to just go and stop worrying about me. She finished like a true Badass. 

Meanwhile, Wendy happened by, and we finished together. 

After crossing the finish line (this time running 13.4, not 17 miles), we filled our Run with Scissors mugs with yummy potato soup. Then I got to see Marta, Laura, and Nancy come in:

And we took our finish line picture with Roy:

I'm glad I ran this race, especially since the rumor is that we won't have it at the Ledges anymore. The park system is gorgeous in the fall, even in the rain and mud. The volunteers for this race were so kind and happy, and I love any aid station that serves up bacon.  Thank you, Running Forward and Giving Back, for a fun experience and the opportunity to pre-emptively burn calories before my Halloween shenanigans that night.

This is EXACTLY how I look when I go grocery shopping.

Are you running in costume this year, Peeps? Whether you are or not, I hope you run happy!

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Race Recap: Akron Marathon

It wasn't a PR. There. I said it. I've been brooding this weekend, and I've confessed it. The weather was PERFECT. The conditions were PERFECT.  I had TONS of support on the course. I didn't PR.


I took a personal day on Friday to go to the Expo. I know from experience that I should not be around anyone the day before a big race. I told my students right up front: I'll be crying and rocking in the fetal position for most of the day. You do NOT want to see this, so you will be happy to have a substitute teacher on that day. My students are wonderful kids, really, so they were very understanding about the whole thing. My own kids know the deal; they just made sure to steer clear of me that day.


I worked the Rite Aid Cleveland Marathon booth at the Expo from 11-1ish. It was great to see all my friends and represent a race series that I love. I'm still mad that Ralph Staph, Race Director for the Rite Aid Cleveland Marathon, didn't bring me a Frappuccino when I asked for it. Am I worth NOTHING????

Working it! #CleveMarathonAmbassador

I did get a prime picture with Zippy, the Akron Zips Mascot.

I also got my traditional 26.2 picture, courtesy of my friend Nick. You remember him; he was a pirate at the Burning River aid station.

And of course it isn't real until you see your name on the car outside the expo:

I spent the evening trying to relax, while eating everything in the house. Hey. I eat when I'm stressed. Actually, I eat when I'm not stressed, too.

The next morning was great! I got to say Good Luck to all my friends before getting in the corral.  We took lots of pictures.

Kelly, Me, Marta. We are excited because it is Kelly's first marathon.

I'm pretending that I'm not edgy or irritated or nervous. Or bloated.

The first 19 miles felt amazing, really. I was ahead of my desired pace by about 30 seconds per mile, and even though I told myself to slow down a bit, I really didn't want to, and I felt like I could handle it. I had started with the 4:40 pacer, and I left her because I didn't want to fight the crowd around her, and I felt so good.

You all know that this was a mistake, right?

I saw my friend Rob at the 16 mile marker, and I saw my friends Bees for Mary Relay Team at the various relay exchanges. I was still feeling great when I approached the designated meeting point to see The Kabyle Chef, Butterbean, and Punkin. I voice-texted Punkin, telling her that I had about two miles until the rendezvous, and then I realized that I miscalculated, and the rendezvous was straight ahead. Whoops.

This really bugged me, but I knew it was my own fault, and I tried to let go of the fact that I wouldn't see my family where I needed them. . . when I saw them! They had scrambled ahead, following the Blue Line until they could figure out how to intercept me!  What a great family.  I sobbed, of course.

Now, this is where I should have picked up the pace because I saw one friend after another, but I just couldn't do it. I was in so much pain, and for the first time ever, I could feel my quads seizing up.  I slowed down, and then I started walking. That is where I saw Pam and Steve. You know them; Pam is a Cleveland Marathon Ambassador, and Steve is a Pacer. They were riding their bikes, and they yelled to me to stop walking and go catch the 4:40 pacer (who had just left me in the dust). I shuffled along until I was suddenly attacked by a giant fox!!

OMG. WTF is that????

The Trail Sisters had stationed themselves at mile 22ish to cheer us on. They are amazing, right?

I passed Rob again going towards Heartbreak Hill. Just as I was contemplating walking the hill, I saw Kathy by the side of the road. I haven't seen her in at least 3 years! She told me that she came to that specific point to see me take the hill. I was so happy to see her that I remembered that I was supposed to make the hill my bitch. . .and so I did.

I was still going super-slowly, and I was in a lot of pain. When I made the turn onto Market Street, which is the start of the last 2 miles, I didn't even care. If the SAG wagon had approached me at that point,  I would have ditched the whole race. I sped up as much as I could on the downhill to make up for lost time, but then I started walking the uphill again when a young girl passed me, turned around and said, "Come on! You passed me on Heartbreak Hill, and you think you are gonna walk THIS?" She was right, so I started shuffling along again, and I managed to cut thirty seconds off that mile.

Coming into the stadium felt great, and I was able to give it a little kick, but I knew that it wasn't a PR, and I was pretty disappointed. I had time to stretch, rehydrate, refuel, collapse, and then find Marta. After taking post race pics with my friends, we moved the party to Lockview, where I ate all the grilled cheese and tater tots I could hold.

Me, Nick (the Pirate), and Marta. You be the judge: Am I laughing or crying here?

I had some time to process this race. I realize that I should have started more slowly than I did--15 more seconds per mile in the first 15 miles would have helped. I realize that I never lost the weight I intended to lose before the race (there is that number 15 again). Could I have controlled both of these factors? Yes. Did I ? No. But.  I trained really well with the right balance of miles, strength training, and swimming. I finished that baby, and though my time was not a PR, it was a course record for me--by 5 whole minutes! I think that I will take it.

I'm so grateful to all the volunteers at this race. They were always loud, cheerful, and fun. I'm also grateful to all of my friends who helped me through this long training cycle and my friends who cheered for me on the course. You all are wonderful; I love you.

As for you, Akron Marathon, next year I will conquer your hills and come back with a shiny, new PR!

Peeps, I hope that while I am hobbling along and soaking in Epsom Salts to recover, you will be running happy!

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